imagining the future

I have not posted since the open studio, as that was the last big thing i did in my art career because of my health. I will be having a stem cell transplant, likely next month.

Imagining the future has been so hard that even considering submitting to a show would cause me to freak out. would i be available to bring in the art if i were accepted? Something else less well defined is tearing at my heart. when i got sick again, i suddenly took a look at all the activities i'd engaged in as part of marketing and entering the art world and as i looked back i felt i'd gone astray and i wanted time to think about my direction. all i wanted in the beginning was to share my work and have people appreciate it. but then so many materialistic concerns began to pull and twist till i was beating up my mind and body working too hard for a goal that had become so unclear.

Being sick has really put a damper on my ability to work. i'm too tired to manage the physical challenges of a shoot, i've only done two small ones in all these months, and i don't have the will to work on any mixed media stuff around the house.

Today something weird happened. I was talking with my girlfriend Julie who had been such an inspiration to me last winter in admiring my work and encouraging me to submit to the TV of Tomorrow show. We were talking about everything under the sun as we usually do when suddenly she was talking about my immense talent and how galleries should be representing me. She starts rattling off the names of galleries she thinks i'd do well in and how they can get prices that i don't even imagine. I was floured by the complement that she thought my work should be in galleries. I thought i had i long ways to go.

The idea of galleries representing me fills me with tingles! I've been concerned about ways in which i can share my work when i don't think i'll ever be able to hang my own show again. but if i was represented by a gallery i'd never lift finger! well ok it's not that much a cinderella story but still, ... she's got me imagining a brighter future!
thanks Julie!